I crave fatty foods. All things fat—sugary treats, fatty burgers, salty fries, greasy pizzas, decadent desserts—occupy my thoughts to the point of obsession. When I start fantasizing about eating and eating and eating, stuffing my face and feeling the food pack into my expanding belly, I can hardly participate in everyday activities. All I can think about is food and what it does to my fat body.
Today was one of those days when the allure of stuffing myself overcame me. Breakfast: a three egg omelet with toast and bacon, followed by four doughnuts from a local artisan doughnut shop. Lunch was a doublestack burger, fries, and a chocolate shake. And for dinner, pizza (6 of the 8 slices; two I’m saving for a late-night snack 😉 ), cheesy garlic bread, and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
Consuming so many fattening foods, and flooding my body with unnecessary calories (like most days, I hardly got any exercise today), I was essentially useless at work: on these days, when my obsession consumes me, I find that I mostly walk around in a stupor, fantasizing about the fat that hangs from my body and the foods with which I am stuffing myself. I can almost feel the cellulite jiggling more intensely as I consume my third and fourth breakfast doughnuts; my belly seems to swell with an after-lunch milkshake; I imagine the dining chair flexing under the increased weight of the pizza now populating the small roll that hangs from my upper thigh.
I am a slave to my belly.