Travelling, Gluttonously

This weekend I was travelling for work, and was staying by myself in an Airbnb. And all weekend, I. Was. A Glutton.

I mean like full-on, lazy-fat-pig style gluttony. Eating, lounging, napping, eating—it was like a weekend-long bacchanal in celebration of fatness. I ate pastries, pizza, cookies, chips, ice cream, fast food, donuts, soda; I didn’t eat one healthy thing all weekend. It was almost too much—I would start to feel a little sick, think that I needed to calm down a little, maybe eat something that wasn’t deeply fried or loaded with sugar, but then I would get so turned on by the fact that I was stuffing myself beyond comfort that I would have no choice but to continue stuffing my swelling fat body with more densely caloric treats. Giving in to every hedonistic desire, allowing my gluttony to take full control, completely surrendering myself to my own fatness—it was too much to handle, and I allowed myself to be ruled by these desires.

So here’s the list of foods that I packed into my own fat body this weekend (which was actually, because of work-related scheduling, Thursday night-Saturday night):

Thursday, dinner: 5 slices of Dominos pepperoni pan pizza (1600 calories), 12 piece Dominos buffalo chicken (540 calories), sleeve of double stuff Oreos (10 cookies, 700 calories), 1/4 Entenmann’s raspberry danis (400 calories), just under half a bag of Munchos chips (320 calories), and 2 large glasses of raspberry lime soda (240 calories). Thursday’s fatfeast dinner: a whopping 3800 calories, in one sitting, (nearly) without breaking a sweat.

(I get turned on just thinking about all those calories being packed into my fat body, every piece of cellulite deepening with each new influx of calories, every roll wobbling just that much more. It takes my breath away; feed me more, please! Give me more! I want more calories, more food, more fatness! UGH.)

Friday: I did my best, ha. I was in a pretty bad food coma for most of the morning. As much as I love devouring 3800 calories immediately before bed, and as turned on as I get knowing that all of those calories will be turned immediately into more fat rolls for my massive, growing body, it isn’t the best way to get a good night’s sleep. So the morning was kind of a wash; mostly I worked on the Entenmann’s raspberry danish (1/2 of it, 800 calories). After some late-morning meetings, I snuck out to Wendy’s for a ranch chicken club (670 calories), medium fries (420), and a soda (320). After work I had a quick afternoon snack: half a pint of Ben and Jerry’s (580), another 10 Oreos (700), an 1/8th of the raspberry danish (200) and some chips (idk, like ~200 maybe??). I fell asleep (want to make sure I don’t burn any of these calories, HA!), woke up and watched TV, and then had three slices of leftover pizza (960) for dinner. The day’s total reached 4,850. It wasn’t my *best* day of fat stuffing, but considering that I wasn’t actually that hungry, and that I felt kinda sick from the night before, I’d say it was a success 😉

Saturday I didn’t have as much time during the day as I would have liked. But right now, as I type this, I’m pigging out as much as possible: I bought myself some donuts on the way back from work, I’m finishing my chips, I’m stuffing myself with Oreos, I’m practically chugging Ben and Jerry’s… can’t keep typing… just, keep. STUFFING. mmmm ❤ ❤ ❤

*****

[P.S. — Posting late because I didn’t have time to edit — sorry!]